[Seek] Grace, Mercy, and Love

I grew up in the Catholic Church, and when I was around 7 or 8 years old, I was in Catechism Class, and we took a field trip to church for Confession. 

There was a procedure to this event. Upon entering the confessional - a small, dark, stuffy cubicle - I pulled the curtain closed behind me, knelt on the kneeler, and waited for the priest to open the window thing separating us. I would then recite the Act of Contrition, which I still remember to this day, and announce how long it had been since my last Confession. 

Here’s where things started getting a little sketchy. I had learned in class that we should be going to weekly Confession, but my parents didn’t bring us to weekly Confession. I didn’t want the priest to be disappointed or angry with me or my parents, so I lied. I told the priest it had been one month since my last Confession. I figured that was short enough to appease the priest and long enough to be kinda sorta slightly honest.

In CCD class, I heard a lot about sin and how we all sin - lots - every day. So as I began confessing my sins, I felt like I couldn’t recall enough of my sins for the priest to believe I was confessing everything. So I started making things up - lying to the priest, again. “I looked at an answer on Melissa’s paper. I said a bad word. I said mean things about Billy.” and I ended my confession confessing that I had “lied 11 times” in order to cover the lies I’d just told and any others I might have told since my last confession.

I didn’t understand a lot about sin, forgiveness, or God’s love back then. I understood about breaking the rules and that it was bad. I had been taught about the wrath of God, needing to pay for my sins with a penance of a certain number of Hail Marys and Our Fathers, about buying my way into heaven with good deeds. 

It wasn’t until I began going to the Lutheran church that I learned that God forgives us and loves us, no strings attached. That nothing I do can change that - that Jesus already paid for all my sins on the cross. That my sins are less cause for wrath, and more breaking God’s heart. That I am a person Jesus chooses to sit with at the table - not the righteous, the sinner; not the people who have perfect lives, but the broken. 

That Jesus is with us as we share Communion with each other on Tuesday evenings @ the table, or as we receive Communion at church on Sunday mornings. That in sharing this meal with each other, we are also sharing Jesus’ grace, mercy, and love with each other. 

As we go about our lives, may we remember that Jesus truly is with us, with all of us, and in all we meet. May we extend the same grace, mercy, and love God extends to us to everyone we encounter.