[Nevertheless] It's A Lot of Children

When people ask me how many children I have, I'm not sure how to answer.

Five of my children were born into my arms, four into God's. I have nine children, but only five are living. I usually answer five, as to not make others sad.

And then there are my other children. Many of my children were born to other parents and are still children of those parents, but are my children, too. They are homeschool students, theater kids, children I babysat when they were younger, my children's friends. They know I'm there for them if they need to talk, need a hug, or just need to sit with someone in silence so they don't feel alone. They know I can relate to their mental illness, their queerness, their tie-dye sheepness. They know I'll be understanding and compassionate while their parents might take some time getting there. They know I'll respect their pronouns, their chosen name, who they are.

One of the best things that's ever happened to me was when I was at Epoch Arts in East Hampton, CT, and a car pulled into the parking lot as I was walking toward the building. As the car stopped, the passenger door flew open and someone yelled my name while running toward me. Enveloped in a huge hug, I was overjoyed that Bailey asked his ride to make a quick stop so he could give his "other mom" a hug. We don't talk nearly as much as we should these days, but he's always in my heart and in my prayers.

Or the time my daughter's boyfriend and I were on our way to a meeting while my daughter was at work, and I got the call that my cirrhosis diagnosis was wrong. He celebrated and texted his mother while I was still on the phone and was as excited for me as my biological children.

I have a lot of children, biological and otherwise. Many of them are in and out of my life, nevertheless, they'll always be in my heart ... and if they ever need anything, I'm here.