Teenagery Parentingishness

Photo that is completely unrelated to the post. But then again
this post might make just as little sense as the unrelated photo.

I had to have a parenty type conversation with a teenagery child. I had to use words like trust and respect and appropriate and think about it. I had to admit that some of this teenagery stuff leads to great amounts of freaking out in this mama's brain and that due to the Aspie status of the eldest teen, the younger teens are both teen test subjects in my parenting journey. They are male and female, and thus give their mama differing things to get all crazy-like about. I promised to try to sort through my scrambled thoughts before getting all parenty like.

It hit me like a ton of bricks how intensely responsible I feel for my nearly grown but not enough so children's behavior. I also realized that I didn't have a typical teenhood, so I have alarm bells screaming in my head about things that might not be as big of a deal as my mind is making them. 

And the guilt! Especially with an amazing friend's child involved. The why didn't I, I should have, didn't we talk enough about thoughts combined with the did I handle it right, was there more I could have said or done confusion. Then again, I'm still not sure how big of a deal this all really is, and assume it depends on whom you're asking. Hearing it's typical teenage behavior isn't as comforting as it might seem if you're not ready for typical teenage behavior. 

There is no handbook for this teenagery parenting thing - just talking and loving and being there and being tough and being clear and forgiving and admitting that neither the teen nor the mama know what we're doing, and agreeing to both do our best with trust and respect and appropriate and think.