I Love You On Purpose

Him: "I love you on purpose."    

 Me: "I love you completely by accident even though I tried really hard not to and it's all your fault."

I've loved him for over half my life, even though I tried not to in the beginning.

I didn't want a boyfriend. I didn't want to be in love. I just wanted to get through life.  Why did he have to screw all that up?  I tried with every fiber of my being to not like him, to not love him. But he gave me no choice. Why did he have to be so darn cute and loveable and compassionate and loving and awesome and care so much about me during a time I didn't care very much about myself? 

I tried so hard not to love him, but God had other plans. God knew much better than I whom I needed in my life. God put this man in my path and was patient with me as I tried everything to not love him. 

Words aren't enough to express what a blessing my husband has been to me as we've Walked Together these past twenty-one-ish years. Nineteen years old when we started dating, nineteen years married today. 

I had big plans for our nineteenth anniversary this year. I was going to make and put together some awesome stuff that would have made his day. But it just didn't happen. My health is not so good lately. I have zero energy for anything beyond was is essential to get through the day. I've tried to not be sick and be awesome instead, but it just hasn't worked. But that's ok. My husband understands. That's' one of the things that's amazing about him - what matters to him is the nineteen years, not the celebration. 

Since we can't celebrate with a bottle of Glen McKenna 30, one thing I can do is this:

Jim/Alex/my Honey,  

Thank you for loving me no matter what I throw (literally and figuratively) at you. Thank you for handling my alphabet soup of diagnoses with love, compassion, and grace. Thank you for loving our children and teaching them all sorts of useful and not so useful things. Thank you for working so hard at work and at home and for taking such good care of me. Happy 19th Anniversary! I love you so very much!

I'm so glad you're my labenslanger schicksalsschatz. 

Always Remember... 

Me

P.S. Next year is TWENTY years. We need to do something legen .... wait for it...

(Text above is Helvetica, except for the part at the top which is Helvetica Bold. This is Times New Roman. True story.)